There is no one way to be a peaceful and respectful parent. The solutions we find for everyday situations and challenges will be as individual as our kids and family situations. There is no instruction manual and there are no quick fixes, although a change of perspective may be all you need to address challenging behaviour and reconnect with your child.
As a parent and family coach, I’m not in the business of telling parents what to do nor what is wrong with their child and how to fix them. There are no bad children, yet sometimes unhelpful patterns and beliefs cloud our vision and our judgment, preventing us from seeing a child for who they are and from being the parent we want to be.
Changing the dynamics of our relationships with our children and becoming peaceful is possible when we shift our perspective. This is what we do in my online course and group coaching programme Connect with Your Child.
Here are my four principles for connecting with your child and transforming your family life:
1. Choose connection
Children are wired for connection. The more connected they feel to their parents and caregivers, the more they’re able to cooperate. Connection builds trust and empathy. Explore ideas and practices for everyday family life that put the relationship first and foster connection.
2. Understand behaviour
All behaviour is communication and meaningful. Uncover the feelings and needs underlying your child’s behaviour to better understand why they act the way they do, and why you react the way you do. Rooted in the latest brain science and child development research.
3. Regulate emotions
Children need help regulating their emotions and meeting their needs. Our main job – and often biggest challenge – as parents, is to co-regulate a child’s emotions and needs whilst self-regulating our own. Learn to recognise your triggers, understand your child’s big feelings and your own.
4. Practice dialogue
A communication culture of active listening and respectful dialogue enables conflicts to be resolved constructively, builds trust, connection and empathy. Learn how language helps develop emotional literacy. Avoid power struggles by validating feelings and working with children to problem solve.
Mindset for connection
These four core principles are sustained by a shift in thinking around conventional parenting paradigms. We’ll focus on connecting and communicating with children as partners in our relationships, in ways that are non-coercive, collaborative, and that build trust and connection. We’ll also identify and address the unhelpful patterns and beliefs that can get in the way.
Want to learn more? Sign up for my email updates and I’ll let you know when you can join the next round of Connect with Your Child!