There is no one way to be a peaceful and respectful parent. The solutions we find for everyday situations and challenges will be as individual as our kids and family situations. There is no instruction manual and there are no quick fixes, although a change of perspective may be all you need to understand challenging behaviour and reconnect with your child.
As a parent and family coach, I’m not in the business of telling parents what to do nor what is wrong with their child and how to fix them. There are no bad children, though plenty of challenges, big feelings and situations that are hard to manage in parenthood and family life! Sometimes unhelpful patterns and beliefs cloud our vision and our judgment, preventing us from seeing a child for who they are and from being the parent we want to be.
Changing the dynamics of our relationships with our children and becoming peaceful is possible when we shift our perspective. This is what we do in my online course and group coaching programme Connect with Your Child.
Here are my four core principles for connecting with your child and transforming your family life:
1. Choose connection
Children are wired for connection and cooperation. The more connected children feel to their parents and caregivers, the easier and more joyful family life is for everyone. In connection, there is trust, empathy and safety. Explore ideas and practices for everyday family life that put the relationship first and foster connection.
2. Look beyond the behaviour
All behaviour is communication and meaningful. Uncover the feelings and needs underlying your child’s behaviour to better understand why they act the way they do – and why you react the way you do. Rooted in the latest brain science, educational psychology and child development research.
3. Brave the big feelings
Children need help regulating their emotions and meeting their needs. Our main job – and often biggest challenge – as parents, is to co-regulate a child’s emotions and needs whilst self-regulating our own. Learn to recognise your triggers, understand your child’s big feelings and your own.
4. Communicate for connection
A communication culture of active listening and respectful dialogue enables conflicts to be resolved constructively, builds connection, trust and empathy. Learn how language helps develop emotional literacy. Say goodbye to power struggles by validating feelings and working with children to problem solve.
Mindset for connection
These four core principles are sustained by a shift in thinking around conventional parenting paradigms. We’ll focus on connecting and communicating with children as partners in our relationships, in ways that are non-coercive, collaborative, and that build trust and connection. We’ll also identify and address the unhelpful patterns and beliefs that can get in the way of you being the parent you want to be, your child becoming the person they’re meant to be, as well as the kind relationship you want to have with your child.
Want to learn more? Sign up for my email updates and I’ll let you know when you can join the next round of Connect with Your Child!